When I ask myself “Why did I want to have kids??”

I always knew I wanted to be a mom. I played baby dolls until I was way too old for baby dolls and frequently had conversations with my sisters about what we would name our future children (“You cannot pick ‘Lydia!’ I already picked that name!”). It all seemed very rosy and romantic, motherhood. I … [Read more…]

Letting in the Light

It was a personality test that broke me, a stupid internet quiz. My Myers-Briggs had never failed me before. ENFJ all the way, baby. Every description, no matter the unique context, (“What should you read next according to your Myers-Brigg personality test?” or “What your Myers-Briggs test says about what kind of friend you are?”) … [Read more…]

How I’m learning to love my body after four kids

My husband borrowed my sewing tape measure the other night to measure himself for his military uniforms. On a whim, I measured myself too, remembering all the times my seamstress mother wrapped the soft tape around my bust, waist, and hips throughout my teenage and young adult years. I’d memorized my “normal” numbers, easily rattling … [Read more…]