There’s something especially horrible about feeling overwhelmed. It’s the paralysis, the circling back of a million thoughts with no resolution, the feeling of wanting to throw your hands in the air and give up, the exhaustion, and “just-whatever-I-don’t-care-anymore.”
Mostly I hate the little voice in my head that whispers, “You can’t do this.”
My husband left this week for Air Force Officer School.
It’s Spring Break for my 3rd grade twins this week.
We’re moving this summer (and summer is REALLY not that far away, as much as I want to deny it!).
I started the week well (“I can do this! I’m doing great! You are strong! You go girl! RAWR!”).
I called the Re-Store to come pick up random construction stuff from our basement.
I’m meeting a guy tomorrow to talk about replacing the eves and facias on the house.
I confirmed our dentist appointments next Friday.
I’ve deep cleaned, organized, thrown away, and packed boxes.
I’ve played with my kids and spent time with friends.
But I can feel myself getting worn down, physically and emotionally.
The overwhelming reality of this change has been creeping towards me, marshmallowing out like some grotesque dark shadow, a deep-felt weight.
I felt it acutely today.
Honestly, it is probably just my depression flaring up, despite my medication.But I’m fighting it.
Even though I know I’m more than capable of looking up a YouTube video to teach me how to change out the light switches (we need to update from ecru to white), and install those boingy door-stopper thingies, the thought of tackling these projects stresses me out.
So I took my friend up on her offer when she told me that her husband’s fix-it services were at my disposal. He’s coming on Saturday morning to do these little projects around the house.
The thought of tackling a long evening (the time when I miss Aaron the most) by myself felt overwhelming so I invited a friend over for dinner.
The notion of shampooing the carpet all by myself was giving me anxiety so I asked if my friend would stay and help me (you know you have a good friend when she says yes to carpet-shampooing support!)
And can I be really honest? The 4 massive loads of clean laundry sitting in my living room had been stressing me out for 3 days (“Fold Laundry” was on my to-do list, uncrossed off, for two of those days) but today, I turned on “Back in Time for Dinner” (seriously! Go to YouTube and watch this series! It is amazing!) and folded those darn clothes.
There are some things I don’t need help with—I just need a little incentive.
Mostly, I’m telling myself, “Do one thing. Do one thing. Make a list. Get out of your head. You don’t have to move far—just take one step.”
My life feels overwhelming right now but I know I’m not alone. I have good friends.
I have tools.
I can motivate myself to keep moving forward.
I can do it.
And if you’re feeling overwhelmed today, even if it is “just” the laundry and dishes screaming at you (nothing “just” about it. It’s hard), you can do it too.
Just do one thing. Keep moving forward.
What’s overwhelming you today?
What’s one thing you can do to keep moving forward?
What tools do you have in your toolbox?
Who can you ask for help?