Kids say (and DO!) the darndest things: 2011 in Review

I went through my Facebook status updates and copied them ALL the other day (took me about 6 hours in total). People are always telling me to write down the funny (or super-sweet) things the boys do and say so HERE THEY ARE! 

The Meng twin funnies for 2011! 

Feb 6: ‎Instead of sleeping, my three-year-old child decided to poop his pants and destroy his room. I put him back to bed and took some advil.
Feb 9: (To Debbie) Remind me to tell you how my kid peed on a wall in public last night….
Feb 24: the boys are wrestling and spitting on each other. They seem to like it. (???)
March 7: my son is trying to stick a blown-up balloon up his bare bum because he wants to be a stegaraurus. Oh my word…
March 15: earlier today, the boys were pretending to be knights. Swords? Painbrush and plastic pipe. Dragon? The vacuum.
April 15: looking forward to playgroup today. Oh, have I got a story to share….let’s just call it “The Great Vasaline Disaster of Last Night” by Micah Meng
April 17: ‎(any parent with a sense of humor should appreciate this): Benji:(very excited and proud) I made a big hotdog!!!
April 20: my son just learned that if one places a small metal car in the microwave, it will produce big fireworks.
April 24: WHY OH WHY do my children do they things they do? Blog post coming soon….(poop and baby powder)
April 30: it’s all fun and games until someone poops his pants….at Kids Cove
May 10: ‎:Benji is sleeping with 3 Gideon New Testaments under his pillow tonight.
May 13: just tried on my full regalia for tomorrow. Micah asked if I was a policeman and Benji said I looked silly! LOL!
May 31: Benji said to me: You are the best ever! 😀
June 1: while giving Micah a hug I said, “I love my boy!” He kissed me and said, “I like my girl!” ::heart-melting::
June 6: Dollar store water guns = euphoric happiness for 3 year old boys
June 18: at 3.5, Micah is a comedian in the making–complete with a hysterical funny voice
June 24: Micah gave me a SpiderMan bandaid so I could “feel better.” What a sweetie.
June 29: Me: (holding Benji’s hand) Your hands are nice and warm. Benji: Yours are nice and cold. 🙂
July 2: at 27 years old, I just got my first temporary tattoo, courtesy of my children. I am now cool.
July 3: The boys’ reactions to the fireworks: “It’s a party!” “Ooooh! That’s so cool!” “Let’s do that again!!”
July 7: Benji: Daddy, we’re watching “Stick in the Booty” (aka “Sleeping Beauty”)
July 13: kids are disgusting (It really wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. Benji peed while standing on the toilet–while it was closed. Just completely fed up and grossed out)
July 19: ‎:BENJI! Eat your food! Ketchup is NOT a food group!
July 21: Biting and hanger throwing….just a few ways my boys have “loved” each other today…
July 24: Micah (pointing to the Trix box): See that bunny? That spells delicious!
July 26: wet pj’s at 5:30; poop in the hallway at 6:30. Good morning Tuesday…you’ve got to go up from here….
July 27: my son calls me, “Honey.” Cute or Freudian?
July 28: we asked the boys what they would name a guinea pig (if we got one); Benji said, “Squeaky!” Awww!
July 30: Benji (at 7pm): I want to go to the moon! (I just put him back to bed (at 9:40) because he was up staring out his widow at the moon–“Look, mommy! Look! See the moon?”)
Aug 16: the boys seem to think that the arm of the armchair is a napkin. Ew.
Aug 18: both boys de-pantsed themselves at at preschool orientation today. Yea.
Aug 25: Benji lost his shoe this morning (a frequent occurrence). His first response when I said “WE HAVE TO FIND YOUR SHOE!” was “I want to pray!” Maybe I am doing something right….
Aug 25: Boys to their preschool teacher– Micah: “When it rains, I grow antlers.” Benji: “When it rains, I get a bit crazy!” Those are my sons.
Aug 28: my children are laughing like maniacs at AFV. It might be worth it to video tape them watching it!
Aug 30: this morning Micah tattled to Aaron that Benji had peed in a cup. Sure enough, when questioned, Benji proudly pointed to a small plastic kids cup on his bedroom floor. Just another typical day in the Meng household…
Aug 31: I think it is time to get out of the house. The boys are rolling around the living room floor like two scrappy little puppies.
Sept 1: Aaron superglued my glasses back together this morning. They were supposed to be indestructible according to the sales lady at my eye doctor. Apparently, twin boys were not on the “destruction” radar…
Sept 3: Aaron is teaching the boys to play Wii golf. They are so excited they can’t even pay attention to our attempts to give them directions…
Sept 3: Micah (while he is playing golf): Mommy, when I say “SCORE!” you say “YEA!” ok?
Sept 13: Micah: Can I watch The Lion and the Woodchip (The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe)?
Sept 19: tried to pick out a birthday card for Aaron at Walmart today: The boys picked My Little Pony, Tangled, and Dora, and “You’re FIVE!” Cars cards. I decided we should shop another day.
Sept 26: the boys talked to each other on the phone for the first time tonight (1st time they have been away from each other for the whole night). There were many “I love you’s” exchanged.
Sept 28: we heard a child crying in another room and I suggested we pray for him/her. Benji prayed: Dear God, thank you for him to feel better. Help him with the medicine in his bottom. Amen. (I don’t think the memory of the enema is going away any time soon). Thanks for all your prayers for US!
Oct 2: So, the guinea pig’s name is….”KITTEN”! HAHAH! Benji named him. Blog post with pictures coming soon! In Micah’s words: Mommy, the guinea pig makes me happy!
Oct 10: GAH! My children are going to put me in the insane asylum!
Oct 16: I’ve been cleaning my bathroom floors multiple times a day thanks for my little boys’ insistence on standing up to do their business
Oct 19: I am convinced that my children emit an invisible slime that is both sticky and grainy and have slimed every hard surface in my house
Oct 21: My kids got up at 2:45am, convinced it was morning (put them back to bed). Then they got up at the crack of dawn and together devoured a half a bag of candy corn before I got up. Benji then proceeded to sing Veggie Tales songs at the top of his lungs, with a strong resemblance to the musical masterpiece, The Flight of the Bumblebee.
Oct 23: Micah: Mommy, I pee wild? Me: No, Micah, please. Do not pee wild.
Oct 27: At school this morning, I heard Micah correct a friend for the first time with, “No, I’m Micah. Not Benji!” I’m afraid it won’t be the last time, son.
Nov 7: When Micah grows up….he wants to have a big knife. Guess which profession he associates this with (blog post)
Nov 10: Micah: Mommy, you so really cute! You look like Kalina! 😀
Nov 14: the boys are “playing” the piano together while singing the “Bob the Builder!” theme song. 🙂
Nov 18: maybe letting the boys watch the Narnia movies is a mistake…all they want to do is reenact the fight scenes….UG
Nov 18: hearing “Hey there Big Mommy” from your son just doesn’t have the same ring to it as saying “Hey there Big Guy” to your son…
Nov 22: Micah keeps saying “Humpy Dumpy” (aka Humpty Dumpty) and it is making me giggle…
Nov 27: Micah: Mommy, I like crack! (referring the nut-cracker on the mantle)
Nov 30: just successfully played Candy Land with Micah! (Benji is at the doctor) Click like if you realize what am amazing accomplishment this is for a hyperactive 4 year old! 🙂
Dec 2: No son, eating all of Mommy’s chocolate was not “an accident”! So much for my teacher gift…:P
Dec 4: ‎”BOYS! Trying to pee in the potty at the same time is NOT a good idea!!!!!”
Dec 17: just pulled a 3 lb ball of wet toilet paper plus two empty toilet paper rolls out of my toilet. GAH!! Thank God he did not try to flush!
Dec 22: Micah: “We went to the grocery store and got some grosch” Makes sense, right?
Dec 23: tonight while we were in the car, Benji could NOT stop talking about Santa coming (even though we haven’t talked about Santa hardly at all!). Micah, annoyed, just kept saying loudly, “Santa’s NOT HERE! Santa’s NOT HERE!” HAHAHA!
Dec 26: the boys are playing football…with an imaginary ball. Seems to be working out pretty well for them. Must be a twin thing. 🙂

Want more? Click on “Humor” under Labels on the right and read to your heart’s content! 🙂 

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