I have been waiting for this week for month: I’m at my first blogging conference EVER (The Declare Conference).
Like, right now!
Well, not actually “right now.” At the moment, I am sitting in Panera, digesting a great lunch and absorbing the fact that I am 4 hours away from my family (in a suburb of Dallas) ALL BY MYSELF.
This has never happened before, ya’ll.
The blog conference.
The time away from my kids and husband.
Oh! I’m also staying at an Air B&B for the first time too! My host is this lovely woman in her 70s who is a mom of 4, grandma, great-grandma, and former hospice nurse. She is also an author of three books about end of life stories, called “Happy Endings.”
She made me breakfast this morning.
She made ME breakfast this morning.
Who knew that eating an omelet and grapefruit sections prepared by someone else’s hand would make you feel like you are sitting in the lap of luxury?
I’m feeling good right now, but last night I had a freak-out.
After church yesterday, I picked up groceries (thank you Walmart click list), put away said groceries, fed children, cut up and froze chicken, prepared a menu for my family for while I’m gone, and packed for 4 days.
I got in the car and drove for 4 hours, all while listening to Outlander on audio book (first time for that too!). I made it to my Air B&B and settled in with my host (she fed me dinner too!).
I was feeling awesome about my jam-packed day and my mad driving skills (I only got turned around once thankyouverymuch).
But as I got ready for bed, a horrible realization hit me in the gut: I forgot all my vitamins (that I take to help me sleep at night) and my prescription antidepressant.
How could you forget your meds? They are so important! I mentally beat myself up as I shivered under my covers.
I wondered if I would be able to sleep that night with this anxiety walloping me in the gut and racing around my brain.
It’s taken me a long time and a lot of trial and error to come up with a vitamin regimen that works for me, and I rely on a certain routine to get me through the day and help me sleep through the night.
And I knew that going cold turkey off my meds prescription meds for 4 days would NOT be a good thing.
I wondered if this get-away was a good idea. After all, I had just gotten off Facetime with my kids and now my husband just texted that my 2-year-old was having a meltdown because he missed his mommy.
No no no no no…all of this…everything. This was a bad idea.
But I tried to calm down, gulping in deep breaths. And then I did what any smart millennial does: I googled and I posted a message to a private FB group I belong to. And google and my friends delivered a heap of encouragement and “Girl-it’s-going-to-be-okay.”
And it was.
Turns out, I’m not the first person who has forgotten medication on a trip. It is really easy to get a new prescription when you’re with a chain pharmacy (it was almost time for me to refill anyway).I didn’t sleep well at all last night but I’m sure it was a combo of the new bed, new environment, plus the stress of the day and my anxiety from the evening. It’s okay. I’ve dealt with sleepless nights before.
I don’t know if there is a moral to this story. One of my goals this year was to write about more “real life” stuff and not just post neatly-wrapped-and-tied-with-a-bow blog posts.
So here’s a messy post about my real life—I’m on a retreat from my Real Life that I have been looking forward to since the July day I signed up, wondering if I was going to make it through the summer.
But I’m also a mom is missing her kids and her brain apparently (hello forgetting essentials while packing for a trip!).
Hopefully, a few days of rest, refocusing, writing, and new relationships will help me find my sanity again.