That time I channeled Luna Lovegood at the library

In so many ways, being a stay at home mom is a sweet deal. You get to be there for all the little moments with your kids (so many little moments…!) and experience the freedom and flexibility to plan your days (around nap time, of course!).

Plus, yoga pants. ‘Nuff said.

One thing I really miss about working though is having daily, or at least consistent, adult conversation and interaction.

Now, I see my husband every day and we talk, which is awesome.
But, there’s something about having CON-VER-SA-TION with adult human beings, of the female variety, that I desperately miss being a Stay at home mom.

(Are you there too? You get this, don’t you?)
Most of my friends are moms too, stay at home or otherwise.

And you know. If you have little kids, it is damn-near-impossible to make time to see your friends.

Example: I’ve been trying to set up a “play date” (read: Mom-Sanity-Social-Time) with a friend for the last two weeks. Our schedules just do not mesh right now.
We finally decided on a week from Friday. I’m penciling it in (figuratively, of course. It’s in my iPhone, ya’ll. I am a millennial, after all, according to those quizzes) because you never know who is going to come down with a stomach bug between now and then.

Today I was reminded, very desperately and embarrassingly, of how much I am lacking in the adult interaction department.

I was at the library (in my yoga pants. Don’t judge. I went to yoga at the YMCA today, which, [sidebar] did not count as adult interaction since it was all meditative and Namaste and I didn’t talk to anyone) and, as stood near the DVDs, waiting for my 4 year old to decide between Paw Patrol and Elmo, I found myself listening in on the conversation between the librarians.

“I’m going to go to lunch now. But don’t worry! I’ll be back to do story time!”
::laughter::
“Yeah, you better come back!”
“haha! If I don’t come back in an hour, you can find me in my car, listening to the Beauty and the Beast soundtrack.”
“Oh! Did you get your tickets? You’re coming tonight, right?”

At this point, I was having a vicarious experience, remembering concepts such as “colleagues,” “lunch hours,” and “movie nights.”
“Can I help you?”

I was jolted out of my reverie and made painfully aware that I was awkwardly staring.

“No,” I said, a little wistfully, apparently channeling my inner Luna Lovegood, because it was about to get real awkward real fast.

“I was just listening in on your conversation.” (YES! I said that out loud!)
“I want to go to Beauty and the Beast.” (NOOOOOOOO! EXIT! LEAVE TURN AROUND! TAKE CHILDREN AND GO! NOW!)

I have no idea what look they gave each other after I said these things out loud to complete strangers.

I spun around quickly, urged my child to pick a movie (CHOP CHOP!) so we could high-tail it out of the library.

I have friends. I really do. It’s just hard to get together sometimes when we all have such pressing life responsibilities, like many, many little children. #SAHMLife

Loneliness.

It makes you do crazy things. Like try to get an invite to the movies from random librarians.

Tell me about your social life as a Mom, stay at home or otherwise.
I need a vicarious experience.

2 Comments

  1. Haha this conversation is so real. Love the shout-out to Luna!

    Hmmm, so how do my friends with babies and I make it work? It’s almost never planned out in advance or penciled in, it’s literally a text or a quick sentence convo at church. “Hey my day off is tomorrow, want to meet up for breakfast?” and then when I wake up I call my friend and she tells me where she is with her two kids and I go there. We do this type of spontaneous meet-ups almost every week (she invited me to a movie w/her 3 year old yesterday)! Or to my friend who does need more planning, I’ll message both her and her husband and let them know that we haven’t had dinner together in 8 months and could I please invite myself to dinner next Tuesday or Thursday? They always laugh and say yes! There are a few others as well.

    The biggest reason this works is both sides have permission to float ideas out there and know that when the answer is no it’s not a put-down and it’s ok to keep asking. I could go on and on about thoughts around why this works but the biggest one is no one in my community sees these sudden requests to do something as an interruption but an invitation. I’ve seen multiple melt-downs at 7pm, taken a 2-year-old ice skating with her dad, played math card games with a 6-year-old while talking to his mom… I’ve also had two moms show up to Galentine’s Day dinner at a fancy restaurant, gone night swimming at 10 pm with a mother of two littles on my birthday, and more! It truly goes both ways but has been so life giving to both of us even as we lose time in other areas.

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