2 Self-Care habits I need to practice daily

I had an abnormally busy day on Thursday, so much so that I took pork chops out of the freezer on Wednesday night because I knew that I wouldn’t even have time to remember to defrost meat for dinner the next day.

But after getting 4 kids out the door to Benji’s IEP meeting at school at 8:15, an 11am meeting with a professor friend to discuss a book proposal idea I have (more coming soon on THIS exciting news!), taking Benji to Occupational Therapy at 2:30, and doing homework with my twins after school, my caffeine buzz had completely worn off and all I wanted to do was lay prostrate on the couch with an HGTV droning on the TV.

I was exhausted and and I still had to make dinner a few hours. Usually when I hit this level of tired, I am a total crank and yell at my family a whole lot while I push through the fatigue to get yet another meal on the table.

Then I feel like crap for the rest of the evening for subjecting my family to my bad-mood-fueled-by-exhaustion.

So in the late afternoon, I thought about the day I’d had.
I thought about how tired I was.
I thought about my patterns of mood and crankiness.
I thought about my family.
I thought about how I was not going to be a mean mommy and wife and how I was going to make dinner and be cheerful.

But I’m trying to bump self-care up a notch on my to-do list so I took two steps to help me take better care of both  myself and my family:

  1. I was honest about how I was really feeling. I tried to tell myself that I could push through, that I could find the cheerful and muscle my way into a pleasant evening. But I knew the truth. I was exhausted and cranky wasn’t far behind.
  2. I asked for help. I sent Aaron a text and asked if we could go out to eat.

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I know that sending this type of text is normal for a lot of people but it is a big deal for me. I make plans (Two Week Menu, anyone?) and I keep them!

I don’t like feeling like I can’t follow through, that I can’t take care of my family in the way I planned for the day. I don’t like feeling like “I can’t.”

But I am trying to take better care of myself and listen to the levels of my own exhaustion and needs. So, yesterday, I said “I can’t.”

I was honest about how I was really feeling and I asked for help.

Why is self-care so hard?
What is one thing you asked for help with this week?

6 Comments

  1. joshandsabrenadeal

    I’ve been loving so many of your posts! I asked for help by asking Josh to take care of some of the Foster Care related errands. If I don’t ask for help I have more “control” over the the way things happen and I know they will get done because I’m a “do-er”. Asking Josh opens up all kinds of great opportunities for me to feel helped, loved and supported. It also forces me to address communication issues which sometimes go under the radar because I’m not relying on him.

    • Jessica Turner

      I’m so much like this, Sabrina. I have a crazy hard time asking for help or even remembering too until I’m upset at my hubby for stuff he didn’t even know I needed or wanted help with. And I think it would beneficial to make a reminder that asking for help will make me feel loved and supported too. Thanks for sharing!!

  2. I hate feeling like “I can’t” too. I also hate asking friends for help (what I consider “taking advantage” of friends). I know their offers for help are genuine and I need to learn to accept them with grace. So when both of my boys came down with hand, foot, and mouth this week, when a friend asked if I needed anything, instead of saying I was doing OK, I was honest. I told her I needed to get apple juice and toothpaste, but didn’t know how I was going to get out of the house. Accepting help like that is hard for me, but that’s what makes friends so great. They are there even for the mundane, boring needs. She brought me what I needed, no questions asked, and even included some chocolate!

    • What a great friend! Asking for help is so humbling. I have a friend who once gave me this wisdom. She said, “If you always say no, you rob people of the blessing of serving you.” Another humbling thought. It is hard to let ourselves be loved, even though that is what we all long for.
      Thank you for reading and for taking the time to comment, Rebecca!

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