I had an abnormally busy day on Thursday, so much so that I took pork chops out of the freezer on Wednesday night because I knew that I wouldn’t even have time to remember to defrost meat for dinner the next day.
But after getting 4 kids out the door to Benji’s IEP meeting at school at 8:15, an 11am meeting with a professor friend to discuss a book proposal idea I have (more coming soon on THIS exciting news!), taking Benji to Occupational Therapy at 2:30, and doing homework with my twins after school, my caffeine buzz had completely worn off and all I wanted to do was lay prostrate on the couch with an HGTV droning on the TV.
I was exhausted and and I still had to make dinner a few hours. Usually when I hit this level of tired, I am a total crank and yell at my family a whole lot while I push through the fatigue to get yet another meal on the table.
Then I feel like crap for the rest of the evening for subjecting my family to my bad-mood-fueled-by-exhaustion.
So in the late afternoon, I thought about the day I’d had.
I thought about how tired I was.
I thought about my patterns of mood and crankiness.
I thought about my family.
I thought about how I was not going to be a mean mommy and wife and how I was going to make dinner and be cheerful.
But I’m trying to bump self-care up a notch on my to-do list so I took two steps to help me take better care of both myself and my family:
- I was honest about how I was really feeling. I tried to tell myself that I could push through, that I could find the cheerful and muscle my way into a pleasant evening. But I knew the truth. I was exhausted and cranky wasn’t far behind.
- I asked for help. I sent Aaron a text and asked if we could go out to eat.
I know that sending this type of text is normal for a lot of people but it is a big deal for me. I make plans (Two Week Menu, anyone?) and I keep them!
I don’t like feeling like I can’t follow through, that I can’t take care of my family in the way I planned for the day. I don’t like feeling like “I can’t.”
But I am trying to take better care of myself and listen to the levels of my own exhaustion and needs. So, yesterday, I said “I can’t.”
I was honest about how I was really feeling and I asked for help.
Why is self-care so hard?
What is one thing you asked for help with this week?