Hey everyone. Don’t tell Mommy, but we hijacked her computer while she is in the shower and decided to tell everybody what we did yesterday. Ok Benji, you go first.
No, you go.
Ok, I guess we will have to do this together. We are twins, after all.
The Poop Story by Micah and Benji Meng
A Short (and not so sweet) play in One Act
Setting: Naptime. MICAH and BENJI are supposed to be sleeping. MOMMY put them to bed at 12:30 but it is now 2:15.
MICAH and BENJI are in their cribs
MOMMY is in the livingroom working on her thesis
Micah: Wow! It is so much fun to stay awake instead of sleep!
Benji: You’re telling me! This is awesome!
Micah: Ooooh. I have gas.
Benji: Yucky! You stink!
Micah: HA! So do you!
Benji: Actually, I just pooped. No gas for me!
Micah: You pooped? Me too!
Micah: Mommy is always telling us we should go on the potty.
Benji: Eh! The potty is overrated. I think a diaper works just fine.
Micah: Yeah. But it feels kinda icky.
Benji: You’re right. We should take ’em off.
Micah: Our diapers??
Benji: YEAH! You go first!
Micah: Ok but we have to take off our shorts first.
Benji: Ok! Let’s do it!
[they take off their shorts]
Micah: Ew. Yucky. Now it really stinks.
Benji: Look! I took off my diaper!
Micah: WOW! That is cool! Let me try!
[Micah takes off his diaper]
Micah: Look at us! We are NAKED! Let’s jump around!
Benji: Weee! Look I plopped down on my pillow!
Micah: HAHA! That is so funny! But now your pillow is gross.
Benji: Not as gross as your face, poop head! HAHAHHAH!
Micah: Don’t call me a poophead, POOPHEAD! WAHHHH!!!
Benji: You stink! WAHHHH!!!
[much crying insues]
MOMMY enters the boys room.
MOMMY smells something bad.
MOMMY sees that MICAH and BENJI have no pants or diapers on.
MOMMY is frozen in shock.
Benji: Oh gracious! Oh gracious! Oh gracious! (Author note: This is a direct quote)
Mommy: What happen?
Mommy: Oh. My. Word.
MOMMY thinks: this was not the way this afternoon was supposed to go.
The scene closes as MOMMY regains the use of her legs and mental faculties, runs a bath, plops both boys into the water, strips blankets off the beds and throws them into the wash, and gives two happy, stinky boys a bath.
MOMMY put us back to bed at 3:15. We are MAD and scream a lot. But we fall asleep until 5:30.